Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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