the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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