i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
