you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
