I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
