She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
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Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All I want is dick and wine.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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