Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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