is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
