i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick