What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.