I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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