Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
