where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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