therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
foreskin is a definite game changer
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
