i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
