shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
