Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
