I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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