ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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