i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize