Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize