The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I want her autograph on my taint
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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