I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
