This girl is more easily done than said...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
