Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize