I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
