i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
