So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
