Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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