hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize