he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize