JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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