respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
