Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You took a bar mat shot.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
