Betty ford says i'm here all night
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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