i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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