i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
