I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize