How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You're like the curious george of whores
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
as a side note pls kill me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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