I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize