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i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
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