I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is