I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.