am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.