that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...