is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work