She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
