I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
