Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize