So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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