My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
