hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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