Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize