Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize