I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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