i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
