Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
