i just wanna soil my oats bro
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
