these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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