He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
