So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize