all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
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Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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