You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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