I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
