sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
