You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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